I got my first computer in the mid '90s, and as a teenager, I acquired every kind of virus downloading porn can give you. I went to all the corners of the World Wide Web. I went to its seedy little bars, its quaint villages, its cult-run compounds and more than one of its highway rest stops. And now I'm going to tell you, unequivocally, what the five worst things on the Internet are. Because I looked them all in the eye and saw a wretched hole filled with human suffering where their soul should have been.